


The Enigmas

by VoidofLight



Series: Works I've lost interest in (sorry) [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Police, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - Spies, Alternate universe - Mafia, Everyone Is Gay, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Good, I know where I'm going (just not how to get there), I may be deceit in disguise u ever think of that??, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Multiple, Sorry Not Sorry, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Vigilantism, Well - Freeform, also Remus may or may not ever show up, also death, assassin? ishh, but at the same time, but still, idk - Freeform, just decided, k now we gettin into some SPOILER TAGS, lol, lowkey unimportant, more like A spy, no?, ps swearing is in this just in case you're sensitive to that kind of stuff, pulling AUs out of a mental hat and not knowing when to stop, shorrttt chapters, so many AUs to taggg, technically, that may change later though, that's a given tho, there are assassins but they're like..., this is just me, unsympathetic Deceit, what else can I taggg, whoo knowwsss, （´∀｀）
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2020-10-20 19:31:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 7,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20680733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidofLight/pseuds/VoidofLight
Summary: A vigilante, a mafia heir, a detective, and a coffee shop worker walk into a dorm.And they're roommates.Oh shit they're roommates.





	1. Moving In - Virgil's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo... this is going to be a train wreck I can already tell. Enjoy!

Virgil didn’t have much on him when he first moved in. Just a duffle bag full of a couple of books and clothes he owned. Looking around, it wasn’t hard for him to figure out that he was the first to arrive. Patton was at work, and there was no sign of their other two roommates in the dorm.

Adjusting the strap of his duffle bag, Virgil made his way into the dorm. He had been told that the dorm has 4 bedrooms, each with their own little quirk. There were signs on each of the doors, describing what each room was. 

To the left of the front door was a storage closet. Walking past the closet, Virgil stumbled right into the living room. To the left was the kitchen, and to the right was five doors. The first door was the bathroom, and the other 4 were bedrooms. The signs on the bedrooms were labeled a followed:

“The Light Room - Features: bed, desk, closet, ceiling fan, strong lights, balcony”

“The Dark Room - Features: bed, desk, closet, clock, dull lights, large window”

“The Sturdy Room - Features: bed, desk, closet, corkboard, bookshelf wall”

“The Soft Room - Features: bed, desk, closet, clock, carpet, small sofa”

Definitely not the hardest choice Virgil has ever made. Opening the door to the dark room, Virgil set down his duffle on the bed before checking the time on the clock. 11am, he had 20 minutes before his meeting with Patton.

“Shit!” he cursed.

Shooting a quick text to Patton saying he was going to be late, Virgil began his 30 minute dash to the new coffee shop/cafe _ just _outside campus grounds, “Positivi-Tea”.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Moving In" 1/3 complete.
> 
> I apologize for the _ short _ chapter and the fact that every chapter will probably be around this length until we reach the climax...
> 
> :p
> 
> In other news, I'll try to update this fic every Tuesday (cus I like that day stfu)!  
See you next chapter!
> 
> Coming next: "Moving In - Roman's POV"


	2. Moving In - Roman's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short as shit chapter hahahahahahaa…  
pls don't kill me (ノ皿ヽ)  
Enjoy!

Followed by his closest friend, Lo, and two grunts, Roman made his way into the dorm. Looking around, Roman found that the dorm was big for a dorm, but a far cry from the size of his usual living arrangements. Nevertheless, it was the biggest one that was in their small city, so Roman supposed that it would have to do.

It wasn’t hard for him to choose his room, “The Dark Room” and “The Sturdy Room” seemed too gloomy for him; so the choice was between the “The Light Room” and “The Soft Room”. No offense to “The Soft Room”, but “The Light Room” sounded  _ much  _ grander, so it was the one he chose.

Signaling for the grunt carrying his things, Roman began unpacking. A Disney poster here, a mirror there, a touch of glitter everywhere and the room was finished! Roman checked the time; 11:30am, just about time for lunch.

Meeting up with Lo in the hallway, the two made plans for lunch. Lo had found a relatively new coffee shop/cafe nearby the two could go to for lunch. It was located just outside of campus, meaning it wasn’t very long of a drive (just about 10 or so minutes).

Dismissing the two grunts, Roman and Lo set off to “Positivi-Tea”.

\--- 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Moving In" 2/3 complete.
> 
> Ask no questions, obtain no answers...  
So please don't ask any questions cus I don't wanna give away any answers. Right about now I have decided on how I want things to go down from the climax to the end and a _ vague _ idea of how to get from here to there. So... try to be patient. See you next chapter!
> 
> Coming next: "Moving In - Logan's POV"


	3. Moving In - Logan's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to use this fic as an example of the word "stalling" to your friends. Enjoy!

According to his calculations, only one of their roommates should’ve settled in by now. His calculations were never wrong, so he tried to talk Ro out of bringing two grunts with them.

“We can carry our own stuff, Ro.”

“Yeah, but do we want to?”

Ever stubborn, he gave in and allowed Ro to bring the grunts. There was also a high chance the roommate who had arrived before them would have left by the time they arrived, so it wasn’t completely dangerous to bring the grunts.

Stepping into the dorm, Lo did a quick sweep of the place. No roommate in sight, good. Going over to the bedrooms, he weighed his options, though it wasn’t hard for him to choose. Opening the door, Lo signaled for the grunt with his things to follow him into “The Sturdy Room”. As promised, the furthermost wall from the door was entirely a bookshelf. Depositing his books onto the shelf (sorted by genre), Lo dismissed the grunt.

Once he was finished unpacking, he met up with Ro in the hallway. Seeing as it was drawing close to lunchtime, he began searching for an adequate place to eat. There was a new coffee shop/cafe located just outside campus grounds. It had great reviews for it’s age (which wasn’t very old, seeing as it had only been open for roughly a year), so Lo shared it with Ro, who decided there was the place to go for lunch.

Getting into Ro’s car, Lo set the GPS to “Positivi-Tea”.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Moving In" 3/3 complete!
> 
> Yay, we've finally finished the first section in this _ slow _ fic! Thank you if you've decided to stay through this snail's pace. Unfortunately, the next couple of chapter probably aren't going to be any faster so...  
feel free to kill me in the comments. See you next chapter!
> 
> Coming next: "The Meeting - Patton's POV"


	4. The Meeting - Patton's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didja miss me? Probably not, but the chapter's here anyways! Enjoy!

Patton checked the time. 11:29am, so his kiddo will be here any minute now. Looking around, Patton found an open, two-seat table towards the back of the building. Perfect! Just as Patton sat down, the bell rigged to the door chimed. His kiddo was here! 

“Over here, kiddo!”

His kiddo plopped into the seat across from his, panting from his run. Once he had caught his breath, Patton began the conversation.

“How was the dorm? Didja meet any of our other roommates?”

“The dorm was big, but I guess that’s to be expected. None of our other roommates were there when I was, so we still don’t know anything about them.”

“That’s a shame. But! There’s an even bigger question to be asked!”

“Oh?”

“You make any new  _ friends  _ yet?”

“Sorry Pat, didn’t meet anyone.”

“Aww, I really want you to have more people to lean on than just me and Thomas! You deserve to be happy!”

“I know, I know. It’s just… hard, talking to new people.”

“Promise to try?”

“I promise, Pat.”

“Yay!”

Satisfied with the promise, Patton stood.

“So, you wanna show me around our dorm?”

His kiddo smirked, “Sure thing, I’ll wait here for you.”

Patton beamed, practically bouncing his way into the back room of the shop. Greeting Thomas on his way there, he made his way to his storage section and removed two suitcases, a knapsack, and a messenger bag. Carrying them back to his kiddo, Patton handed him the messenger bag and smiled.

“Let’s go, kiddo!”

\--- 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The Meeting" 1/3 complete.
> 
> Ayyy Patton's here! Not sure if the latter half of this chapter made sense but hey, I tried. Right now I've written up to the point where there's like... 7 important characters either introduced or mentioned in passing. :P
> 
> See you next chapter!
> 
> Coming next: "The Meeting - Virgil's POV"


	5. The Meeting - Virgil's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick question before the chapter begins: would y'all be opposed to a certain piece of trash (me) killing off characters? Asking for a friend, of course. If the answer is no, forget I even asked. Enjoy!

After a  _ thorough  _ work out in the form of a run, Virgil managed to get to Positivi-Tea just 10 minutes late (which he felt extremely guilty about). Stepping through the door, he heard Patton’s gleeful cry of, “Over here, kiddo!” Locating the source of the sound, Virgil joined Pat at his table in the back.

“How was the dorm? Didja meet any of our other roommates?”

“The dorm was big, but I guess that’s to be expected. None of our other roommates were there when I was, so we still don’t know anything about them.”

“That’s a shame. But! There’s an even bigger question to be asked!”

“Oh?”

“You make any new  _ friends  _ yet?” Virgil internally winced at the question.

“Sorry Pat, didn’t meet anyone.” 

“Aww, I really want you to have more people to lean on than just me and Thomas! You deserve to be happy!”

“I know, I know. It’s just… hard, talking to new people.” 

“Promise to try?”

“I promise, Pat.”

“Yay!

Sometimes - no,  _ most  _ times Virgil felt that Pat was too good to him. What had Virgil ever done for the world to reward him with someone as empathetic and caring as Pat? Nothing; he was dark and broody, people are repelled by his aura and he can barely even manage to take to new people on his own. He’d never be worthy of Pat, but he sure as hell will try his best to be.

Pat stood, “So, you wanna show me around our dorm?”

Virgil smirked, “Sure thing, I’ll wait here for you.”

Virgil watched as Pat made his way into the back of the shop to grab his things. He came back carrying his own two suitcases and knapsack; handing Virgil his messenger bag, Pat exclaimed, “Let’s go, kiddo!” and the two stood to leave the shop. Or, at least they tried to.

Apparently, there was someone walking behind Virgil’s chair that neither he nor Pat had noticed. So when Virgil stood, he ended up pushing the chair into the poor guy; making him drop the two drinks he was carrying. Luckily, Positivi-Tea used plastic mugs, so the cups didn’t break. Unluckily, the drinks were spilt  _ all  _ over the hardwood floor, unsalvageable. Before Virgil could begin  _ profusely  _ apologising to the man, he held up a hand.

“No need to apologise. We were both at fault here; you for not noticing me and I for not seeing you. I forgive you and shall continue on with my day without holding any kind of grudge towards you, as I presume you shall do the same?”

Virgil, stunned by the man’s willingness to forgive (and robot-like dialect), could only nod in response.

“Very well then. Have a good day.”

The man turned to head back to the counter, probably going to go get a new drink (and someone to clean up the mess). Virgil sighed, thankful that the situation was diffused so easily.

“What the fuck was that Lo?! He spilled our drinks! He should be punished!”

Ah, looks like he spoke too soon.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The Meeting" 2/3 complete.
> 
> A reminder that voting for the new updating schedule closes in 2 days so cast your votes soon! I really have nothing else to say for now so take this incorrect sanders sides quote that I can up with this morning (inspired by real events):
> 
> Virgil: Today is not an awake day.
> 
> Logan: Care to explain?
> 
> Virgil: I woke up this morning and then immediately cried myself back to sleep.
> 
> Logan: …Why were you crying?
> 
> Virgil: Because I was awake.
> 
> See you next chapter!


	6. The Meeting - Roman's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The results are in! The schedule that won was option #5 "As soon as each section is finished (as in post the entire section at once - with certain limits being what the author is willing to share)" by a _ landslide _! (If you want to see to poll, [here it is!](https://www.strawpoll.me/18770603/r)) And so, here's the final part of "The Meeting" section! From here on out, all parts of a section will be posted together as a cluster, with each section being posted randomly in relation to each other! Thank you all for voting! Enjoy!

The audacity of that man! He tripped Lo and didn’t even attempt to apologise! Sure, Lo was the first one to speak and didn’t ask for an apology, but the guy could’ve at least given him one  _ anyways _ !

“What the fuck was that Lo?! He spilled our drinks! He should be punished!”

If Lo wouldn’t stick up for himself, then Roman would do it for him!

“Roman…”

The use of his full name meant that he should  _ probably  _ stop what he was doing, but  _ no one  _ disregards  _ his  _ friend’s honor and gets away with it!

“Lo, he spilled our drinks! Before we even got to  _ try them!  _ That is a crime punishable by  _ imprisonment! _ ”

“Heya there kiddo! Let’s not get ahead of ourselves now; I may not be a cop, but I’m willing to bet a little spilled tea never killed anyone!”

Just as Roman was muttering, “yeah  _ riight _ ”; Lo said, “He is right, Roman. Both this man-” “-call me V-” “V and I have agreed that we were  _ both equally  _ at fault in this instance. And thus, we’ve  _ mutually agreed  _ to  _ forgive each other  _ and  _ move on. _ Do you understand,  _ Roman? _ ”

Sighing, Roman gave into Lo’s  _ Mom Voice™ _ . 

“ _ Fiinnee,  _ I’ll let them go. ButletitbeknownthatIdon’tlikeyou!”

“Um, what was that last part?”

“Chim chim charoo!”

And with that, Roman angrily stomped his way out of the shop. With one last sigh and apology to the pair of strangers, Lo followed him out.

“You overreacted and you know it.”

“ _ Or  _ maybe  _ you underreacted  _ and you don’t know it!”

He didn’t even have to be looking at Lo to know what was happening once he heard the evertelling  _ thwack  _ sounding from Lo’s forehead.

“Look, Ro. I will admit that  _ maybe  _ I should’ve had more of a reaction; if  _ you  _ agree to let the whole thing  _ go _ . Deal?”

“... deal.”

“Satisfactory.”

After that, the duo went to a local italian restaurant for lunch; before returning to their dorm room for the night. Hours passed, as the two played various board games together to kill time; with no sign of their other two roommates in sight. Before long, it was time for dinner. As the two began debating over what to eat, they heard the front door open. Moving into the hallway, the four roommates met eyes.

“You have  _ got  _ to be kidding me.”

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The Meeting" 3/3 complete!
> 
> I'll be honest, I have no idea what to put in the end notes anymore. Should I just start doing incorrect sanders sides quotes down here? Do y'all want me to? Idk, I'll just do it now and y'all can tell me if you want me to stop.
> 
> Logan, asleep on the floor: el principe es stupido…
> 
> Roman, offended: Do you hate me so much you call me stupid in your sleep?!
> 
> Logan, still asleep: yes... 
> 
> See you next section!
> 
> Coming next: "famILY Bonding"


	7. famILY Bonding - Virgil's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

“You have  _ got  _ to be kidding me.”

“Now now kiddo! You know that the only kid here is you!”

Virgil sighed, as he turned to face the glasses-clad man in front of him.

“Are we… cool?”

“Yes, I do believe we are ‘cool’. Aren’t we,  _ Roman _ ,” he said, not-so-gently nudging his best friend in the ribs.

“Yeah yeah, we’re  _ fine _ .”

An awkward silence fell over the group for all of ½ a second, before Pat began cheering.

“Hooray! Now, I heard you kiddos were arguing about dinner!”

“You are correct in your assumption. Ro and I were just debating whether to get greek or chinese food for dinner.”

“Well, why don’t you kiddos let me cook!”

The man looked towards the bag of groceries in Pat’s hand, before redirecting his gaze back to his face.

“You can cook, mister?”

“Of course I can, and you can call me Patton! Now you kiddos just sit back and bond as I prepare the food!”

With that, Pat began skipping towards the kitchen with the groceries. The three remaining in the hallway stared at each other for an… amount of time (6 minutes, 17 seconds) before the one in the glasses spoke.

“I believe we should start with introductions. I am Logan Adams.”

“Roman Prince.”

“Not gonna tell.”

“ _ What?! _ ”

“Sorry not sorry, Princey.”

“Don’t call me-”

“Oh come on, kiddo!” Patton called from the kitchen, “We’ll be living with them for the whole year! Best to know your name now in case of emergencey!”

Virgil sighed, “ _ Fine _ . Name’s Virgil.”

“Satisfactory,” Logan said, directing the course of action towards himself, “Now, since introductions are over, let’s move this conversation to the living room; in order to create optimal distance between us and the kitchen. Perhaps, even play a boardgame or two to pass the time.”

And so, that’s how Virgil found himself sitting at a table with his other two roommates, playing monopoly. By the look on Princey’s face, he’s very determined to win. Ha, like that’ll happen.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "famILY Bonding" 1/2 complete.
> 
> Remus: I just swallowed a whole fish!
> 
> Roman: …why???
> 
> Remus: Deceit said I couldn't, so I had to prove him wrong!
> 
> Roman: Are you sure he wasn't just being sarcastic??!
> 
> _Remus, flashbacking: I bet I can eat that whole fish over there!_
> 
> _Deceit: I **absolutely don't believe **you can._
> 
> _Remus: Yes I can! I'll show you!_
> 
> Remus, shrugging: He paid for the fish!
> 
> Roman, facepalming: That! Doesn't! Make! It! Any! Better!


	8. famILY Bonding - Roman's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

“I would now like to buy a hotel on Boardwalk, and seven guardhouses to put around it.”

“Wha-you can’t do that! Lo, you’re the banker! Tell him he can’t do that!”

Lo, the absolute madman, looked Roman straight (gay) in the eye… and dabbed, taking Virgil’s money and handing him 2 hotels and 7 house pieces.

“May I ask why 2 hotels?”

“It’s the bonus for buying more than 5 houses in one turn.”

“Cool.”

“ _ Lo WhY??!!! _ ”

“Because he doesn’t whine to me about his ‘endeavors in love’.”

“ _ So MeAn!! _ ”

“I do sympathize with Regina George, yes.”

Fast forward past the offended Princey noises, and then it’s Roman’s turn. Rolling the dice, he could only stare in horror at his roll.

“A 5 and a 6. 11 spaces, Princey. Right.  _ On.  _ ** _Boardwalk._ ** ”

Slowly, Roman moved his piece to it’s doom. Lo pulled out his calculator from  _ somewhere _ and began running the calculations for how much should be paid as rent for a property with 2 hotels and 7 houses on it; as Roman curled up in the center of the board and began to slowly pass all his money and properties to a smirking Virgil.

“Dinner’s ready!”

The  _ delicious  _ smell of the meal that Patton had cooked for them made its way into everyone’s noses; as they stepped away from the game, declaring Virgil the winner (much to Roman’s chagrin), and made their way to the food.

Their first dinner as a group.

What could  _ possibly  _ go wrong?

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "famILY Bonding" 2/2 complete!
> 
> Virgil, rolled up in a blanket like a burrito: Why am I doing this again?
> 
> Deceit: Because you lost a bet with Remus now shush and accept your fate.
> 
> Remus, holding a microphone: Ladies and gentlemen! And you non-binary nobles! I present to you, the emoest burrito in the world!
> 
> Virgil, singing begrudgingly as Deceit holds a microphone to his face: _ Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me... _
> 
> There some new characters may or may not be introduced _ very _ soon. See you next section!
> 
> Coming next: "A (totally absolutely completely legitimately) Silent Night (mmhhmm it’s exactly that)"


	9. A (totally absolutely completely legitimately) Silent Night (mmhhmm it's exactly that) - Logan's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been procrastinating for a while but since this glob is done I thought might as well post it! Enjoy!

“I must admit to you, Patton, that your cooking is absolutely  _ heavenly _ .”

“Aww, you flatter me! If you like my food, then you’ll love Virgil’s baked goods!”

“The emo nightmare can  _ bake?! _ ”

Logan observed as Virgil seemed to sink into his hoodie, obviously embarrassed.

“Yup! Kiddo makes the  _ best  _ cookies!”

“Ok, now you’ve  _ got  _ to bake something for us!”

“I don’t  _ have  _ to do anything for you, Princey.”

“C’mon kiddo! Your baking’s so good! You should share it!”

“But  _ Pat  _ my  _ aloof and threatening aura!” _

“No offence Virgil, but you have as aloof and threatening an aura as a tiny potted cactus.”

“ ** _You wanna bet on that?_ ** ”

Logan let a small smirk cross his face as he observed the antics of his friend and new roommates. Glancing over the scene, he could tell that, despite his fearful performance, Roman was enjoying himself. Standing, Logan went to go put away his dishware before heading to his room.

Shutting the door behind him, Logan took out his phone and dialed the exceedingly familiar number at the top of his contact list.

_ Ring- _

_ “Logan! How are you? Move in well? Roman isn’t bothering you too much, is he? What are your new roommates like? Are they nice? Mean? Possibly high? Do you-” _

“Slow down, father. Ask your questions one at a time, so that I actually have time to answer them.”

_ “Ahh sorry Logan! I just missed you so much! The station gets so lonely without you, even Dave has started working more!” _

“Shouldn’t Dave working more be a good thing?”

_ “It is! It’s just also a sentiment to how much lonelier it is here without you…” _

“Hmm, I  _ may  _ be able to come visit over the weekend. If there’s an opening between classes, of course.”

_ “Really?! Great! Oh, maybe you could bring your new roommates too! I sure would love to meet the people you’ll be living with for the year. Make sure they’re up to standard and all.” _

“Father, I can assure you that Virgil and Patton are perfectly adequate roommates for me to be living with. As far as I can tell, they are not involved in any illegal activities both on and off campus.”

_ “Well that’s good. If you say they’re adequate, then they must be spectacular! But I still want to meet them.” _

Logan sighed, “I’ll see what I can do…”

_ “Ok then! Remember to study, and don’t stay up too late researching again! We all know what happened last time…”  _

“Not my… finest, moment.”

_ “Everyone at the station would beg to differ!” _

“Then let them beg.”

A hearty laugh could be heard from the phone, before Logan’s father wished him goodnight and hung up. Opening up his computer, Logan got to work on his latest paper. Besides the steady stream of music coming in through his earbuds, Logan could hear nothing else but the swift clattering of his fingers against the keys. Around midnight, an extremely muffled “thump” sounded from the next room over; not that Logan heard it. But if he did, then maybe he would’ve gone to investigate the room next to his; the one labeled “The Dark Room”. And if he searched there? He’d see nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.

But Roman did.

\---

****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A (totally absolutely completely legitimately) Silent Night (mmhhmm it's exactly that)" 1/4 complete.
> 
> Thomas, holding a brick: What should I do with this?  
Logan: Study it.  
Roman: Use it as part of one of the backgrounds in your next show!  
Patton: Draw a cut face on it and have a tea party!  
Deceit: _ Definitely _ let it stay still at Patton's tea party and _ don't _ make it spontaneously fly around the room.  
Remus: Ohh I Iike that one! Put spikes on it! Poison! Logan's nipples!  
Logan: Why my nipples?  
Remus: Cause-  
Virgil: Knock Deceit and Remus over the head with it to get them both to _ shut up. _


	10. A (totally completely absolutely legitimately) Silent Night (mmhhmm it's exactly that) - Roman's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

“ ** _You wanna bet on that?_ ** ”

“Ummmm…. no?”

“ ** _Good choice…_ ** ”

“P-Patton I’m scared.”

“It’s ok! Kiddo wouldn’t hurt anybody!”

“ ** _Of course not Pat._ ** ”

“See! Nothing to be afraid of!”

“I… I wouldn’t be so sure of that???”

“Well, why not?”

“ ** _Yeah Roman, why not?_ ** ”

Logan had left the table about a minute ago, so there was no escape. But then, there was.

_ Ring Ring Ring… _

“Ahhahahaa looks like I’m getting a call I better go!”

Moving quickly, Roman brought his plate to the sink and fled to his room. He’s fought assassins, spies, and many  _ many _ trainers; and yet, the tone of Virgil’s voice made him the tad bit  _ scared _ . Looking at his phone, Roman called back the number that had acted as his saving grace.

_ Ring… _

_ “Roman, sweetheart! How are you? Settling in well?” _

“Of course, mother! I’ll say, the dorm’s quite big this year!”

_ “Oh, that’s good! Your father and I spent hours trying to find the biggest dorm possible! Have you checked up with Declan yet? Any new leads on Remus?” _

“No and no, sadly. What about you, mother? Any new leads on your end?”

_ “No…” _

“...”

_ “...” _

“...”

_ “Well, here’s to hoping then.” _

“Here’s to hoping.”

_ “Goodnight, sweetheart. Sleep well.” _

“Same to you. Mother.”

Roman sighed as he set the phone down. Maybe he should’ve expected it. For 4 years there have been no sign of Roman’s twin brother, Remus. They searched high and low for any sign of him, but none were to be found. Stepping onto the balcony, Roman began dialing another number.

15 calls in and almost all of the arrangements are made. Just as he begins typing in the next number, he heard a sliding sound to his right. Glancing over, he saw just a quick blur of purple and black; then nothing. Though, “The Dark Room” had it’s window open. He could either go over and close the window (risking Virgil’s wrath); or finish his calls and go to bed (leaving Virgil to sleep in the cold (and more importantly, let  _ bugs  _ into the dorms)).

Roman prided himself on being a gentleman, so he went to go close the emo nightmare’s window. Turning the knob gently, as not to disturb anyone sleeping within, Roman entered the room. Only to find, nothing. Shit.

Where’s Virgil?

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A (totally absolutely completely legitimately) Silent Night (mmhhmm it's exactly that)" 2/4 complete.
> 
> Roman: Who stole my perfectly manicured sword?!  
Virgil: Wasn't me.  
Logan: What would I do with it?  
Roman: _ eVeRYtHINg! _  
Patton: Any ideas on how we could find it?  
Roman: Yes! I shall lock us all in this room and we shall play "Clue" until someone confesses!  
Virgil: Wait-Princey _ don't- _  
Roman: Too late! _ We're doing it! _  
At the same time:  
Remus: De! De! Look what I stole! Imma make it smell like fish!  
Deceit: Sure just _ do _ burn down the kitchen _ for the first time. _  
Remus: K!


	11. A (totally absolutely completely legitimately) Silent Night (mmhhmm it's exactly that) - Virgil's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

_ Ring Ring Ring… _

“Ahhahahaa looks like I’m getting a call I better go!”

Virgil watched with amusement as Roman hastily deposited his dishes in the sink and scrambled into his room. Patton started laughing first.

“Pfffttt kiddo! I knew you could be very convincing but wow! I had to hold back the urge to scold you for all the ‘murder’ you were throwing poor Roman back there!”

Virgil smirked, “Thanks Pat. Thomas has been giving me acting lessons.”

“Well they sure paid off! If I didn’t know you, I’d say you were 5 seconds from stabbing him!”

“I might’ve been.”

Another round of  _ glorious  _ laughter from the two of them.

“Good job being the ‘innocent dad’.”

“Good job being the ‘scary kiddo’!”

“You flatter me.”

“Well someone has to!”

“C’mon Pat, lets go do those dishes.”

Together, Patton and Virgil washed the dishes before parting ways and going to their rooms. Virgil lounged around his room for a bit, looking at memes on tumblr and researching the fastest routes to each of his classes. Just a bit around midnight, Virgil figured that everyone else in the dorm was probably asleep. Good.

Opening his duffle bag, Virgil began shuffling through the contents. A couple spare pens, a few shirts, and his suit. No, not like “tuxedo” suit, more like his vigilante costume. Flexible black pants, a dark purple shirt, bulletproof vest, set of sneakers with springs in the soles, a pitchblack hooded jacket with many,  _ many  _ pockets (each holding various different small - and sometimes some not-so-small tools), and a full-head purple mask with lightning bolts detailed under the eyes.

Donning his outfit, Virgil felt a familiar feeling of confidence overcoming him. There was just one last thing to get. Digging to the bottom of the bag, Virgil unzipped a zipper hidden by a flap of fabric to unveil his second most prized possession. His gloves. Now, his gloves weren’t just  _ any  _ gloves; no, they were  _ his  _ gloves. His gloves that just so happened to be  _ extremely  _ heat resistant, designed to leave no fingerprints, had iron around the knuckles, and could easily grip onto walls, ceilings, fences, door frames, and literally anything else you can think of.

After checking himself over to make sure he had everything, Virgil opened his window and hopped out into the night. He’s fast on his feet, always is. The springs in his soles help to propel him down the street, finding a wall and climbing it to reach the rooftops. Virgil did his usual patrols, going around checking the same couple of blocks for a while before going to meet others at the rendezvous point.

He landed with a swift roll on the roof in front of the other two. The first was dressed in a light pink suit decorated with white flowers. He wore a tan bulletproof vest with a couple pockets and a pink satin tie. Pink sneakers with retractable wheels in the back and a white rabbit mask that covered the top half of his face. His name is “The Entertainer”, known for his bubbly personality and deadly accuracy with throwing knives. Witness accounts say that he likes to make a small show of his battles, filled to the brim with as many cartoon references as possible.

The second was dressed in a pair of sturdy black leggings with a deep magenta shirt on top. He wore a purple-black swirled cloak that was reminiscent of a starless night, lined with an array of pockets on the inside to hold a variety of trinkets. Unlike the other two, he wore a gray bandana over his eyes and used a long white scarf to cover the rest of his face. The material of the scarf is embedded with durable metal threads, allowing him to use the scarf as a weapon for fighting and capturing his enemies. His shoes are a seemingly-regular pair of black Vans, but are known to play a quiet, almost untraceable, lullaby that brings inescapable sleep to those unused to it if exposed to it for long enough. For that reason, he is known as “The Sleepwalker”. 

Virgil himself is known as “The Shadow”, mainly because there’s little to no witness sightings of him in battle. And those that do exist describe him as only a “mysterious force that takes out enemies without being seen”. They can’t even agree whether or not he uses a weapon when fighting. Some who saw the glint of metal on his knuckles claim he uses a small blade; others say he fights using just his bare fists. A handful even claim that he uses some kind of voo-doo magic. In truth, he just uses his iron knuckles to fight his enemies. Virgil had always been unnaturally fast and strong for his build, lean and seemingly frail. Thomas likes to joke that he’s the perfect mix of fight and flight. He’s not wrong.

Together, the three vigilantes are known as “The Enigmas”; infamous for their work protecting the city. Many online forums discuss their usefulness on a daily basis. On one hand, the crime rates in the city have been going down more and more since they first appeared. On the other, they may be creating bad influences on the youth with all their illegal work.

The three on the roof were in the middle of discussing who’ll patrol where when Virgil’s phone went off, signalling a text from Pat. Opening it, Virgil showed it to the others and excused himself. It read:

**Pat: ** _ ROMAN CHECKED YOUR ROOM HEAD HOME NOW AND ACT LIKE YOU’RE COMING BACK FROM 7/11!!!! _

\---

****   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A (totally absolutely completely legitimately) Silent Night (mmhhmm it's exactly that)" 3/4 complete.
> 
> Patton, washing dishes: It's such a nice, calm evening!  
And suddenly, Remus!  
Remus: Break the dishes and eat them!
> 
> Logan, overlooking his plans: Everything seems to be in order...  
And suddenly, Remus!  
Remus: Burn it all and, then _ Roman! _


	12. A (totally absolutely completely legitimately) Silent Night (mmhhmm it's exactly that) - Patton's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

“Lo! Patton! Get up! Guys, Virgil’s missing!”

“Pardon, Ro?”

“Ok so, IwasjustonmybalconeycheckingmycallswhenIheardsomethingcomefromthegeneraldirectionofmr.darkandbrooding’sroomsoIwenttocheckitoutandhewasn’tinthere!”

“Hmm… this does seem to be quite the problem. Patton, do you have any insight onto this occurrence?”

“Uhhh, what?”

“I presume you and Virgil have known each other for quite some time; and thus I came to the conclusion that out of any of us, you would know Virgil’s whereabouts.”

“Well... sometimes the kiddo likes to go out on midnight runs to 7/11! Yep! That’s what he does!”

Patton didn’t like lying. It always leaves a bad taste in his mouth. But no matter how much he dislikes it, there are certain times when it’s necessary. Right now is one of those times.

“The kiddo will probably be back within the hour! No need to worry!”

“Then we shall wait for him! Tis the least we can do as his roommates!”

“That’s really sweet of you, Roman, but it’s fine! I promise you he’s ok!”

“Nevertheless we shall wait for his safe return!”

Patton sighed, finding no way to get the other two back into their rooms, there was only one thing he could do.

**Pat: ** _ ROMAN CHECKED YOUR ROOM HEAD HOME NOW AND ACT LIKE YOU’RE COMING BACK FROM 7/11!!!! _

Now, it was just a game of waiting.

_ 30 minutes later _

\---

Kiddo burst through the door, panting with what Patton recognized as one of Remy’s spare satchels hanging off his shoulders and a lemon-lime slushie in his hand; half-melted so partway through the yellow and green slush seemed to fuse together.

“S-sorry for sc-scaring you! I-uh I just wanted a slushie!”

“Nonsense, Virgil. As your new roommates, we take pride in making sure you’re ok.”

“Oh, um… thanks Logan, that’s-uh, really nice of you; but I think taking care of me is Pat’s job.”

“You’ve got that right, kiddo! Now, Logan, Roman, go back to sleep! Kiddo, come with me. We have to talk about how next time, you’ll at least leave a note!”

Patton watched as Logan and Roman shuffled their way back into their rooms. Once both doors were closed, Patton led the kiddo into his room and the two got seated on the  _ extremely  _ fluffy carpet. 

“Did you actually stop by a 7/11 for that slushie?”

“Yup. Thought it’d make the whole thing more convincing.”

Patton held back a fit of giggles, opting to hug his kiddo instead.

“Could you leave a note next time? I’d just be nice to know whether or not you’re leaving on your own accord.”

"Can do Pat, can do.”

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A (totally absolutely completely legitimately) Silent Night (mmhhmm it's exactly that)" 4/4 complete!
> 
> Roman, maintaining his perfectly manicured sword: Oh aren't you a _ beauty~ _  
And suddenly, Remus!  
Remus: Shove her down you throat!
> 
> Virgil, aimlessly scrolling through tumblr: …  
And suddenly, Remus!  
Remus: Ta-  
Virgil, chucking pillows at Remus: _ HIISSSSSSSSSS _
> 
> See you next section!
> 
> Coming next: "Him"


	13. Him - Roman's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't posted in a while but in my defense one time I ate a hard boiled egg so yeah. Enjoy!

It’s been a couple of weeks since they first moved in. Classes have kept them all busy for the most part, but as of right now, they’re all just playing a friendly game of Uno in the dorm together. Well… somewhat friendly…

“ _ You can't stack draw fours on draw twos, Mr. Darkside! _ ”

“ _ Yes you can, Princey!” _

“I will end this argument, you totally can’t,” Lo said, turning his phone around to show  [ an article ](https://www.msn.com/en-au/lifestyle/smart-living/you-cannot-stack-draw-2-and-draw-4-cards-uno-reveals-the-little-known-rule-that-will-change-the-way-you-play-the-game-forever/ar-AAB9JFI) , proving Roman to be correct.

“Ha! I’m right!”

“For once in your life.”

Cue the offended noises.

“I will have you know that I’ve been right  _ more  _ than once before!”

“Yeah right.”

“Why you-”

Before he could finish that sentence, Lo’s phone went off with a ringing chime.

“Ah, Ro. It’s time to head out if we want to make it to our lunch reservations on time.”

“But  _ Lo! _ We still haven’t finished our argument!”

“Too bad. Deceit’s waiting for us, we have to go.”

“Deceit?”

“Our friend, Patton. I suppose we have yet to introduce the two of you to him.”

You have never seen anyone change moods so fast as Roman in that moment.

“Omg really?! Well then they  _ have  _ to come with us!”

“No can do, Princey. We already have lunch plans with our own friends.”

“Then just bring them along! C’mon!”

Roman watched as Patton placed a hand on Virgil’s shoulder and whispered something into his ear. Whatever he said, it worked.; seeing as Virgil nodded to Roman and agreed to the arrangement.

“Tell them to meet us at that one italian restaurant around the corner of the west campus!” Roman exclaimed, already beginning to run out the door in excitement.

Maybe meeting new people will help Deceit open up some.

\---

****   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Him" 1/5 complete.
> 
> Remus: How many pickles can you shove up your ass before you start walking funny?  
Logan: No.  
Remus: It's ti_me to use the scientific method! _  
Logan: This is not t_he kind of thing endorsed by the scientific method! _


	14. Him - Virgil's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

“Kiddo! You promised to give meeting new people a try! Please?”

Normally, Virgil would say no to any unnecessary social interaction; but Pat was giving him  _ the eyes _ ; so he couldn’t exactly say no. Resigning himself to his fate, Virgil nodded and took out his phone, agreeing to the arrangement. 

“Tell them to meet us at that one italian restaurant around the corner of the west campus!” Roman screamed, already leaving the room.

**Virgil: ** Change of plans, meet us at that one italian restaurant around the corner of the west campus. Will be there with others.

“Are you… sure about this arrangement, Virgil? Ro can be quite… influential when he wants to be. I, for one, have made my fair share of mistakes due to his impulsiveness.” 

“I-It’s fine. Uh, I n-need to st-start meeting new people a-anyways.”

Logan coked an eyebrow, obviously not buying Virgil’s bullshit, but seemingly accepting it nonetheless. With one last “If you’re sure…” from Logan, the three left the room.

Since the restaurant wasn’t too far from their dorm, the group decided to walk there in lew of taking a car. As Roman was going on  _ some  _ tangent about…  _ whatever _ , Virgil was busy texting.

**Remy: ** Last minute change of plans? From  _ you  _ of all people V? Babe, check me to see I’m not dead or somethin’!

**Emilie: ** If you’re dead, then we must be having the same experience of the afterlife! Though, all the animes tell me that death should be more… deadly than this!

**Remy: ** But  _ Virgil. Changed plans. Last. Minute!  _ And don’t even get me started on that  _ will be others  _ crap!

**Virgil: ** I can try new things!

**Emilie: ** Yeah, but it’s so ooc of you whenever you do!

**Virgil: ** … true.

**Remy: ** Also gurl, the  _ italian restaurant around the corner of the west campus?!  _ The one  _ notorious for being all fancy and upper-class?!  _ I mean, I can get the whole  _ meeting new people  _ bullshit, Pat and all that, but  _ fancy? Upper-class? Virgil????  _ Idk bout you, babe, but the dots just ain’t connecting for me.

**Emilie: ** Yeah, there’s no magic paintbrush showing me the way either.

**Virgil: ** It was one of my roommates suggestions, ok? Not my idea.

**Remy: ** Which one? The glasses guy or Mr. Princey?

**Virgil: ** Princey.

**Remy: ** Thanks gurl. Now I know who to punch!

**Virgil: ** Wait, no, please don’t do that.

**Remy: ** Not sounding too convincing there V.

**Emilie: ** Both of you, off your phones  _ now! _ We’ve  _ all arrived at the restaurant,  _ and they’re giving you  _ both  _ looks!

**Remy: ** Aww, getting jealous babe?

**Emilie: ** _ Off!! _

“Don’t punch Princey.”

“Wh-”

“But why?!”

“Cause it’s rude.”

“Wai-”

“But I  _ reallyy  _ want to gurl.”

“Will somebody please explain to me-”

“Kiddo!” “Love!”

Both mouths shut, turning to look at the glasses-clad men staring at them with disappointed eyes.

  
“If you’re going to argue in front of everyone, at least try to provide some context kiddo!”

**   
  
**

“And remember what we went over  _ literally yesterday  _ love! No punching people you don’t know unless they do something truly evil!”

“But he did do something evil! He peer pressured Virgil into coming here!”

“But does _ Virgil  _ want you to punch Princey?”

“... no…”

“Then  _ should  _ you punch Princey?”

“......... no…..….”

“Good! Now, we can finally head inside!”

That seemed to snap everyone in the party out of their dazes, finally realizing the odd looks they were getting from bystanders wondering why they were just standing in front of the door instead of going in. So in the restaurant they went, hoping for a less chaotic meal then what transpired outside.

They hoped in vain.

\---

****   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Him" 2/5 complete.
> 
> Logan: If anyone can give me scientific proof that a human can exist with just one brain cell I'll give you my respect.  
Virgil: Roman's existence.  
Roman: _ Offended Princey Noises™ _  
Logan: _ gives Virgil a flashcard that has "respect" on it _  
Roman: _ Offended Princey Noises™ part 2, The Offendeder _


	15. Him - Logan's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

“Reservation under the name ‘Adams’.”

“Ah, someone has already claimed that reservation.”

“Deceit?”

“That’s what he said.”

“He’s part of our party, let us in.”

“We’ll have to ask him first.”

“Go ahead.”

The woman turned around, walking into the dining space and coming back with Deceit; dressed in his usual black jeans and tee, this time patterned with the image of three snakes devouring an anatomically accurate human heart. The large scar stretching the length of the right side of his face rather well hidden behind layers and layers of make-up; giving the image that his face was half snake.

“Sir, are these men part of your party?”

“Indeed they are. C’mon, let’s go,” Deceit said, waving a hand and walking back into the dining area. Logan was the first to move, spurring the others to follow. 

Deceit lead them to a round table towards the back of the restaurant, just big enough to fit them all in the cushioned seating surrounding it. From the left end to the right end of the table, there sat Deceit, then Remy, then Emilie, then Ro, then Logan, then Patton, and finally Virgil.

“So!” Ro began, “Virgil, Patton, this is Deceit! Say hi!”

“No.”

“Nah.”

“Hi!”

Ro leveled a glare at both Deceit and Virgil, somehow simultaneously despite the two sitting on opposite sides of the table. Deceit sighed, as Virgil tilted his head, acting as though he had no idea why Ro was glaring at him.

“Fiine. Hello.”

“Hey.”

Silence encompassed the table for a few minutes, as they began taking up their menus and looking at their lunch options. Logan, ever the observer, noticed the hesitation in Patton and Virgil’s eyes as they scrolled along the prices.

“Don’t hesitate to order, Patton, Virgil. I can assure you that Ro will be paying for the  _ entire  _ meal.”

“What! Why me?! The reservation is under  _ your name  _ Lo!”

“Because you’re the one who brought us all here, Ro. Plus, you’re the only one who brought your wallet.”

Nods from all around the table, as Ro sunk back into his seat, crossing his arms in defeat.

“Ok Lo, you’ve proved your point! I’ll pay, but only because a Prince is always noble!”

“Keep telling yourself that, Princey.”

The tenseness in Patton and Virgil’s postures lessen, as the two raise their menus to, once again, ponder their meal options. Curious. Most people Logan knows would’ve automatically assumed Ro would be paying, seeing as he was the one to bring them all together. But however Patton and Virgil were brought up, they developed a deep sense of caution in them. And it may not be a stretch to assume that this Remy character would have insight on such facts…

\---

Conversation was plentiful amongst the table. Emilie was suggesting different cartoons to Deceit, both parties appearing to rather enjoy the conversation; as Emilie even placed a Steven Universe sticker to Deceit’s left cheek. Meanwhile, Remy was seemingly aimlessly scrolling through his phone. Ro and Virgil were engaged in a fierce debate on the themes behind various Disney movies; while Logan and Patton calmly discussed some of the cases investigated by Sherlock Holmes and the numerous ways each of them could’ve gone differently.

Nothing was out of the ordinary; just a seemingly normal assortment of college students enjoying a nice lunch together. Chatter flitted around them like leaves in the mid-autumn wind. Calm, ordinary, and worry-free. But then Detective Adams walked up to their table, trouble evident in his eyes.

\---

****   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Him" 3/5 complete.
> 
> Roman: There's nothing I can't create!  
Logan: A cure for cancer.  
Roman: One thing I can't create!  
Patton: An infinity cookie?  
Roman: Two things!  
Virgil: A perfect circle...  
Roman: Okay now you're just being unfair.


	16. Him - Deceit's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

“Hello, pardon the interruption. I am Detective Adams,” Logan’s father spoke, flashing his badge at the four present ignorant of his position, “and I am here to request the presence of one ‘Roman Prince’.”

Roman seemed to be confused, looking between Logan and Mr. Adams in an attempt to piece together a story. 

“There must be some sort of mistake here, Detective! I haven’t done anything suspicious at  _ all  _ in the past  _ month!” _

“Wait just a month-”

“So  _ why  _ in the name of Odin’s beard are you requesting for the presence of  _ me  _ of all people?!”

“Simply due to some… incriminating evidence left at a recent crime scene leading to you. Come along now, if may. I’ll even indulge you in bringing along my son, if it helps to ease your nerves.”

Roman huffed, seemingly coming to the same conclusion as Deceit. Gesturing for Logan to follow, the two made their way out of the restaurant; leaving a $100 bill behind to pay for the meal. Dismissing himself at the same time, Deceit began trailing the trio down the road to the police station.

Stopping in the restroom of a nearby Papa John’s, Deceit switched out his form-fitting jeans and tee for a rather inconspicuous black trench coat and bowler hat. A master of deception such as himself knew how to adjust body language at the flick of a wrist.

Posture straightened, an air of royal confidence with a surrounding aura of nonchalance and the look was complete. From there, it was  _ ridiculously  _ easy for him to make his way towards the interrogation room.

Tip the hat to a few guards, greet a couple others with the generics, and he’s in. Settling next to Logan’s mother in the feedback room, Deceit listened with rapt attention as the interrogation commenced.

“Roman, are you aware that a murder took place just an hour ago in an apartment building less then 15 minutes away from your dorm?”

“ _ What?! _ No, I didn’t know! How could I have, I was eating lunch then in the very restaurant you pulled me from!”

“I suspected as much. Us at the station only knew of the murder due to one of the victim’s neighbors calling in from hearing a gunshot errupt in the appartment. No gun was found, so murder was the only conclusion we could draw.”

“Ok, and how does any of  _ that  _ information lead to you suspecting  _ me?! _ ”

“While the murder weapon wasn’t found, a quick examination of the body revealed bruises along the arms, neck, and torso of the victim. Evidence of a struggle that must’ve occurred between the victim and his murderer. A search of the crime scene additionally revealed that the murderer might not have gotten out of the struggle completely unharmed.”

It was at this point that Mr. Adams reached into his coat and pulled out a clear plastic bag holding a small sample of rusty brown hair, marked “Exhibit C” and the exact same color as Roman’s own wig.

_ Check. _

“ _ W-what?! _ That hair could not  _ possibly  _ be mine! I have an  _ alibi! _ The  _ 6  _ other people present with me during lunch can testify to that!”

“I saw your little outing with my own eyes, Roman. So I must concede that you could not have been the killer in this scenario. However, a quick DNA test run on this sample showed that it could only have been you. It was 99.9% match, Roman.”

“Someone must be trying to frame me!”

“If that’s the case, Roman, then  _ who? _ ”

A silence, blanketing the room as both interviewer and interviewees fell into deep thought. Then, for the first time since arriving, Logan spoke.

“May I see the sample.” 

A nod, and the sample switched hands. Some movement, as Logan began to separate each individual hair in the container. Then he stopped, eyes widening with newfound discovery.

“Ro,” he spoke, “you care for your hair very well, don’t you?”

“I do! I always make sure to wash it every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to sleep; never a stray strand out of place!”

“So, would you say that you have  _ no  _ gray hairs whatsoever?”

Roman gasped, clearly offended, “Of course not! It would be a blow to my  _ honor  _ for any imperfection to ever fall upon my hair!”

“Then  _ why  _ is there a  _ singular  _ gray hair in this sample?”

“... i-it’s… it’s not… not my hair…”

Logan nodded solemnly, “There is one man who has the same DNA as Ro. A man who has been missing for quite some time. Who just so happens to have a forelock…” he trailed off. No more words needed to be spoken, for the looks in their eyes said that they all had come to the same conclusion.

Deceit smirked.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Him" 4/5 complete.
> 
> Remus: Is it socially acceptable to walk outside with a butt window in my pants?  
Patton: No!  
Deceit: _ Yes. _  
Remus: ...imma go with Deceit's answer!


	17. Him - Remy's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

They all gaped in shock. Apparently, Princey had some sort of missing twin brother who might’ve just attempted to frame him for murder. Sure, that alone was shocking. But what was even more shocking was the fact that a murder had taken place at all. They all thought with the decently frequent patrols throughout the city, no criminal big  _ or  _ small would even  _ dare  _ to strike, let alone in the _ middle of the day. _ Apparently, they thought wrong. Emilie was the first to speak.

“W-well… now we know the listening devices in the speakers work!”

“Yeah babe. And we also know that we have to remodel the patrol schedule,  _ again _ . At this point, we may need to start cutting into the sleep reserves.”

“That’s a hard price to pay, Remy. I mean, you kiddos are  _ college students _ for gosh sakes! You need all the sleep you can get!”

“But Pat, the safety of the city is above any one of us.”

“I get it… I really do. It’s just - I worry for your health, kiddo!”

“I’m sorry Pat, but this is just the way things must be. If you’d like, you can come help Remy, Em, and I rework the schedule.”

“Ok kiddo…”

Drinking up the last of his tea, Remy disposed of his cup and lead the four of them towards his division. No time to waste, plans needed to be made.  _ Immediately. _

\---

****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Him" 5/5 complete!
> 
> Remus: Fuck, marry, kill Roman, Deceit, and a puppy in tutu!  
Virgil: Kill Roman, kill Deceit, kill you.  
Remus: A bitch is a female dog y'know so does that make me your bitch?  
Virgil: Change of plans, kill myself.
> 
> See you next section!
> 
> Coming next: "the time before"


	18. the time before - ???'s POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I may or may not only be posting this chapter so I can allude to the next section...
> 
> Enjoy!

_ Father says he isn’t doing it well enough yet! He  _ obviously  _ doesn’t know what he’s talking about! “Maybe lessons from someone your age will help you learn,” Father had said. He scoffed, that was about as likely as the sky falling and destroying the earth and all its inhabitants. But since it was Father, he  _ had  _ to do it anyways. _

_ \--- _

_ He opened the door about as gently as a tornado can rip through someone’s ass. And the moment he walked inside, he saw the  _ hottest person in the entire world.  _ Sure, the guy had his back turned to him, but  _ damn  _ that ass. He swears on his favorite pet rock to marry the guy one day. _

_ The guy turned around and  _ wow  _ that is a sexy face. He just  _ loves  _ a man with a scar. _

_ “Soo you’re my teacher! What are you gonna do to me first~?” _

_ The guy scoffed, “ _ I’m  _ not going to do anything  _ to you,  _ first of all. I’ll just be instructing you on how to use a variety of weapons.” _

_ He smirked, he had a feeling this one was special. _

_ \--- _

_ “When will you stop flirting with me in the middle of lessons?” _

_ “When you agree to date me, sexy!” _

_ “I’ll date you when you get your Father’s permission to even go  _ on  _ a date.” _

_ \--- _

_ “But why  _ not?! _ ” _

_ “Because you’re still not proficient enough in even  _ one  _ of the weapons in our disposal! Having a date would just further distract you from your training, you and I  _ both  _ know that.” _

_ He pouted, before quickly jumping up in excitement. _

_ “How about a  _ bet!”

_ “A… bet?” _

_ “Yup! If I can master  _ one  _ of our weapons in  _ nine weeks _ with his help, then I can date him!” _

_ “Well, if this is what motivates you, then I guess… challenge accepted. But if you do win this bet, at least  _ promise  _ to not give up on your training afterwards.” _

_ “Yeah, yeah promise!” _

_ \--- _

_ “And he  _ agreed  _ to that?!” _

_ “Yup!” _

_ A sigh, “Well, if this is going to work we’ll need to find you a weapon first…” _

_ He cheered, delightedly. _

_ \--- _

_ 9 weeks later he’s approved to go on a date. It’s the first time he’s ever been able to win something from  _ anyone.  _ But taking a look at the  _ fine  _ hunk of man that was soon to be his boyfriend, he wonders if he’d really need to. _

_ \--- _

****   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "the time before" 1/2 complete.
> 
> Patton: My kiddo's the best kiddo around! He's the nicest once you get to know him!  
His kiddo: The highlight of my life was the one time I saw a rainbow and it told me to listen to MCR and I did which ended up leading me to tumblr where I now spend all my time wasting away until next year's Black Friday when the black eyeshadow will be on sale again so I can buy all of it from every Hot Topic in a 5 mile radius.  
Patton: Adorable :D


	19. the time before - wroammin's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

_ What is that  _ idiot  _ doing?! Trying to date his own trainer, that’s absurd! The guy’s hot, he’ll admit that, but he should be focusing on his training! He’s so far behind, they just worry that he’ll never catch up. But more time to ponder his love life later, for now, the younger Prince has a lesson with Lo he needs to get to. _

_ \--- _

****   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "the time before" 2/2 complete!
> 
> Roman: There's nothing wrong with a little _ gay _ in your day!  
Virgil: Yes there is.  
Roman, offended: And what could _ possibly _ be wrong?!  
Virgil: The gay wouldn't be big enough...  
Roman: Well you've got me there...
> 
> See you next section!
> 
> Coming next: "In Which Virgil Gets a Harem he Doesn't Want"


End file.
